“I myself am the enemy who must be loved.” — Carl Jung

I think almost everyone struggles with this barrier — SELF-SABOTAGE, at one time or another in their life. The good news is that it can be overcome but, as with any negative habit, it is going to take conscious effort and practice to overcome.

What is self - sabotage?

It is when we say we want something and then go about to make sure that it does not happen!

In other words, self-sabotaging behaviors do harm not only to you but, you can unintentionally hurt others by taking actions that could have been prevented.

Often times, it is so ingrained in us that we may not realize that we are doing it. The following is the explanation of why we self-sabotage according to Dr. Judy Ho in her article Why We Self-Sabotage in Psychology Today. I strongly suggest that you take a few minutes to read the entire article. It is short, concise, and very informative.

"You may be surprised to learn that the propensity to commit self-sabotage is built into our neurobiology and woven into the very fabric of what makes us human. In fact, its roots aren’t so hideous after all. The source of self-sabotage is part of a common ancestral and evolutionary adaptation that has allowed us to persevere as a species in the first place! To understand how self-sabotage is tied to our human existence, we need to take a look at the two simple principles that drive our survival: attaining rewards and avoiding threats.

We are essentially programmed to strive for goals because achieving them makes us feel good. That dopamine rush is an incentive to repeat those behaviors. The trick, especially when it comes to self-sabotage, is that our biochemistry doesn’t necessarily discriminate between the kind of feel-good sensations we experience when we are going toward our goals and the “good” feelings we get when we avoid something that seems threatening. In addition, where animals worry only about physical survival, humans also have to preserve their psychological well-being. In fact, an event that is psychologically threatening can trigger similar fight-or-flight responses as events that are physically threatening. 

Attaining rewards and avoiding threats are like two sides of a coin. They aren’t independent systems, and there is a constant interplay in the brain to try to bring the two drives to an equilibrium. When we balance attaining rewards and avoiding threats, all is well; we feel good about ourselves, and we ensure our physical and psychological well-being."

In other words, according to Dr. Margaret Paul...  

“Self-sabotage is a defense response activated by fear and goes into action to try to protect us from getting hurt.”